A Second Look

Some weeks ago, something made me real sad yet surprised

So sad until happy song turned sad
So sad until.... just taking glance to my phone made me sad
So sad and scared, I was

/wuuuuuuh/

I was thinking that maybe things weren't like what they seemed

Picture this :

Your life is a movie....................

Do you imagine the actors and the actresses in it ?

............................................................................

Nah. You must be picturing the main characters. Ones that take the most scenes, ones that twist the stories, ones that affect how you act and how you feel

But now try to imagine their movie from their eyes..

Have you ever been thinking that

Sometimes, 
maybe,
in your main character’s movie
you are just a  person who walks in a crowded hallway...

How nothing special you are, how small, how invisible
Aku nggak bilang itu pasti. Tapi bisa aja kan ?
Well, nothing convinces me, no one

that possibility of the irony was something that surprised me a lot
How nothing special, how small, how invisible i could actually be
I felt that my feeling was unappreciated 
feeling like how worthless it was

But there’s also time like, in the movie we were a soldier. We fought with all of our might. The fight was our current life all about. But do you remember a war movie that the main character was really strong, like maybe uhmmm........ transformers. We fought the decepticons with the best of us, but they could just step on you like you’re nothing and walk along.. How about that ?

I’m very surprised like someone slapped my face

Like whoa.... that actually could happen

We can't blame the other characters perspective. Nggak lah, neither did I back then. Maybe that's how their role should be. Maybe they are really that strong to just step on us.  
Maybe just me who was weak.

Then i was thinking the reversible way
Kebalikannya
Bisa aja ini cuma kesalahan pemahaman. Kesalahan paradigma. Kalo dilihat dari wider view yang aku pikir penting, mungkin juga nggak sepenting itu. Nggak seharusnya dianggap sepenting itu.

You think it was really big for you, but it’s actually very negligible looked from the whole life

Yang bisa nyakitin itu mungkin seharusnya nggak usah sampai nyakitin.
Maybe that was just something passes me on a crowded hallway, but it made me stumbling. So what i should do was just walking along 

How ironic..

And honestly i was getting confused on how should i take things....(sampe sekarang sih)
But I was taking it seriously, and sooo distraught
But then I asked myself

What if I don't wanna be hurt anymore ?
What if I don't wanna cry again ?

Is that wrong ?Well, it was heard wrong to me
People tend to feel something than to feel nothing
Rather be hurt than to feel nothing at all

But it's actually not. 
I realized I could be happy. I realized I could just feel the happiness and the joy
I'd rather be happy than to feel nothing at all
:) 

Hmmm ... how pain changes people ya......

But then I also realized
My life, my movie, in spite of that, was actually perfect
And it has always been
I have a warm, great, supportive family
I have some friends that love me soooo much and who i love soooo much also
I have a massive dream that is very possible to reach and becomes so motivating
And last but not least, I have a BIG GOD, One that i will always go back to

So, i chose to be happy
I felt like i have the right to be
Hmm......... at least i really chose not to be sad :))
Ngerasa kalo aku nggak sedih, atau aku nggak deket2 sama hal2 yang bisa buat sedih, aku bisa kok bahagia, dan malah sebenernya banyak hal yang lebih bisa buat aku seneng kalo aku nyadar. 
I was told kalo sakit hati atau sedih itu kita sendiri kok yang buat. Kita sendiri yang ngerelain kita buat ngerasainnya. If we don't want to let ourselves feel it, we won't
So I won't let myself to feel sad

I took a second look on my life overall, I realized that it was actually so blessed
I took a second look on myself overall, I knew that I was actually a very cheerful individual

So i am moving on, living my blessed life and going on, being a cheerful individual ;)
/full of love <3/




P.S: there's a song that really motivated me to be strong, at least to feel strong. If you feel weak because of something or someone, you should listen to this !!!!